Louie

Tomorrow's dinner arrived in the form of four live dungeness crab in a cooler. YIKES. Now what? I was suppose to have someone here to kill them for me. As I look into their sad beady little eyes I wonder how it is possible for me to take the life of these creatures. Quickly, before I assign them names I think about the delicious meal they will supply. I suck it up and get tough . . . yeah right! I face the first one with rubber gloves up to my elbows. A pot of boiling, salted, vinegered, Old Bay spiced water bubbling beside us and a huge butcher knife - Oh yes and long long tongs. Armed and ready. I turn him over on his back on the newspapered counter and wham! Missed. Ok, deep breath WHAM got him . . . . in the leg. He is suffering now so I get serious. Strike three and he is still moving so in he goes, alive to his boiling demise. 18 minutes later he comes out and now I have to pop his back off and clean out all the green and yellow insides and pull off his lungs. My dinner is looking less appetizing all the time. He is done now - onto number two. I call my friend for moral support. He said to hit it with a heavy rolling pin. That works. So I killed this one and cleaned him before he boils except now I have blood and guts all over my kitchen counter. Maybe I hit him too hard . . . sigh. Number three and four are fighters and strike at me when I open the cooler. You have to admire that. When they realize it isn't going to help them they clutch each other in a crab style embrace that just breaks my heart . . . for a minute. Ok all is done they are ready for cleaning. That can wait until tomorrow. Whew!